Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
