idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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