new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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