I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
there was a trapeze. enough said
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
