How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
