Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize