the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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