I swear she didn't look like that last week.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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