Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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