There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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