my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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