he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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