so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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