she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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