Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
