Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
