So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize