It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
