whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm passing your future prison.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
