Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
we should paint friendship bongs
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
