I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
