garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
