So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
