Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
