I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
