I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
