that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
