Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
