I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
