so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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