operation have a gay friend backfired
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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