I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
