fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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