ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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