i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
