you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize