Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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