the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just wanna soil my oats bro
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
