In the future we'll all be gay
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
