Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
