I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize