So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize