Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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