I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you will always have a special place in my vag
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
