its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
