I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
