It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
