Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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