my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
