I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
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My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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