My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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