at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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