Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize