We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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