I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
NoShamevember. You game?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
