Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
