There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
