tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Shitshow foam night was such a success
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
