Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
