I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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