that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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