all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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